Maximum-Effort smoked bologna and cheese sandwich

Bologna barbecue rub: add kosher salt, paprika, ground black pepper, brown sugar, chili powder, cumin, coriander, and cayenne pepper to a bowl and stir to combine. Taste it to see if it's super spicy and adjust. This is your barbecue rub. 

Smoke the bologna: set up your smoker or kettle grill for cooking at 225°F (105°C) with your favorite choice of wood or pellets for pork. 

Check to see if your bologna has a casing around it. It should be a very easy process of making one long cut through the casing and then peeling it off of the whole bologna chub. You could probably smoke it with the casing still on, but the casing will prevent the smoke from penetrating the meat. 

Once the casing is removed, with a sharp knife score the outside of the bologna. Keep your cuts about an inch apart and then make a crosshatch of scores going the other direction. Don't cut too deep into the meat. 

Once the bologna has been scored, rub the outside with 3 tablespoons of yellow mustard. This mustard is going to be your "glue" to allow the barbecue rub to stick to the outside of the bologna. 

Once the mustard is spread all over the bologna, clean your hands and then sprinkle the barbecue rub very well over the outside. Don't forget about the ends of the bologna. Do your best to make a consistent spread of rub.

Once your grill is set up and the internal smoker temperature is around 225 F, add the rubbed bologna and allow it to smoke for 2 to 3 hours. The bologna should take on some color, the barbecue rub should fully have adhered and after this amount of time smoking, your bologna should have taken on a lot of smoky flavors. Remove it from the smoker and allow the meat to cool.

Slice the bologna as thinly as possible. If you want to get thin slices, the meat has to be cool and if you really want to be able to slice it super thin and you don't have an electric slicer, you can put the meat in the refrigerator or even freezer for a few minutes to firm up the meat. 

Store the bologna in a sealed container in the refrigerator for up to a week or freeze, wrapped in plastic wrap or freezer bags for a month or two.

Hot sauce-infused cheese slices: add a greased or Silpat lined sheet pan to your oven on its lowest setting. Mine is 150 F.

Add water to a medium-sized pot and bring to a simmer. Add sodium citrate and stir to combine.

Slowly add all the shredded cheese, stopping to stir the cheese into the sauce after every handful. Once all the cheese is added stir very well while the cheese is still simmering to make sure it is very smooth. 

Add 1 to 3 tablespoons of hot sauce. Three tablespoons will have a little bit of a spicy kick but it will not be super hot. If you are worried about it being too spicy, just use 1 tablespoon. Stir again to fully incorporate the hot sauce into the cheese. 

Remove the sheet pan from the oven and carefully pour the cheese onto the pan. 

Once the sauce is in a consistently thin layer, cover the cheese with wax paper and move it to a refrigerator to cool.

Once the cheese is fully cool, you can carefully remove it from the sheet pan and slice the cheese into 3.5-inch squares or whatever shapes you desire. To store the cheese, place a piece of parchment or wax paper between each slice and store it in the refrigerator for up to three weeks.

Spicy beer mustard: grind the whole mustard seeds in a spice grinder or by hand with a mortar and pestle. You can also "grind" them in a plastic zip-top bag and a rolling pin. Just crush and grind the seeds until they are very small pieces but not fully fine dust. 

Add the ground-up seeds to a bowl and then add the mustard powder. Next, add the other dry ingredients and stir to combine well. 

Pour in the beer and mustard and stir. Allow this mixture to sit for 10 minutes and then add the vinegar. Stir again until everything is combined.

The mustard will be pretty liquidy at this point but add it to a jar or sealed container and store in the refrigerator for at least 24 hours and it will thicken up. Mustard can be safely kept in the fridge for many months or up to a year.

Fried BBQ potato chips: add brown sugar, garlic powder, onion powder, smoked paprika, salt, black pepper, and MSG (if using) to a bowl or sealed container. 

Slice your russet potatoes very thin. If you're using a mandoline, watch your fingers! 

Place sliced potatoes in a bowl full of cold water and let them sit for 20 minutes. 

Dry your sliced potatoes by laying them out on paper towels or if you have one of those salad spinners, this would be a good opportunity to use them. The main goal here is to get them as dry as possible. Wet potatoes will cause a lot of splashing and splattering in the frying oil

Add oil to the medium or large pan at least 3 inches deep

Heat oil up to 375 degrees F (190 C). If you do not have a frying thermometer, you want the oil hot enough that a tiny piece of a potato slice starts to sizzle when it touches the oil. 

Fry in batches of about 10 to 15 slices for 3 minutes or so. You need to pay very close attention because the chips will go from very pale to brown very fast.

Once the chips are turning tan-colored, remove them to a paper towel-lined sheet pan and season immediately with the seasoning blend. 

Once all of the chips are fried, add to a bowl and season them all again if you want to make sure they're fully seasoned. 

Store in a zip-top bag or sealed container for up to a week at room temperature. 

Sandwich cooking and assembly: add a tablespoon of butter to a medium pan over medium heat. Once the butter is melted and bubbly add both slices of bread. Rub the bread around a little to make sure it has picked up some of the melted butter and then flip each slice so that the second side can also soak up some of the butter. 

Toast the bread for 1 to 2 minutes per side until it starts to get golden brown and toasty. Remove the toast to a cooling rack while you prepare the rest of the sandwich ingredients. Keep your pan on medium heat. 

Cut slits in the smoked bologna slices to make sure that they do not cup up while cooking. Just one slit from the edge to the very center is all that is required.

Keep the pan on medium heat add the three cut slices of smoked bologna and cook for 2 to 3 minutes. 

Flip and then add a piece of hot sauce-infused cheese on top of each slice of smoked bologna. Cook the meat and cheese for an additional 2 minutes.

After 2 minutes, stack the three slices of meat and cheese on top of each other and remove from the heat. 

Take one slice of toast and top it with the stack of meat and cheese. Carefully add a generous handful of homemade BBQ chips on top of the stack. 

Spread a bit of spicy beer mustard on the second slice of bread and place it mustard side down on top of the chips.

Serve and enjoy.